As a ladycat I really didn't think I needed anything for erect tail dysfunction. Then I noticed that in many of my pictures, my tail does have a bit of a S curve.
I do like it looking that way though, so no need to send samples. Thanks for thinking of me though.
I also really didn't think I needed car insurance... till Mom mentioned that I'm a car owner now. She had a great point. So I'd like a quote on the following:
- Two Hot Wheel Cars - One Brown Terarro, and One Chrome Dark Rider Power Piston
- I'd like a multi-car discount... I may need a bigger garage.
- Must be covered against nibble and claw marks.
- Must be willing to accept payment in rejected dry kibble.
Kidding, I would never sit still to wear a hat.
Well I did it too! At the crack of Christmas Morning dawn, I Guerrilla Holidayed the Charlie Brown tree by the house. It was pretty dark and cold out so Hubby was taken aback when I got the sudden urge to make it happen.
We had all just watched a story about a town that had decided to forgo the expensive town tree and decorated a random tree in the town square. I was so touched by the sight of that Charlie Brown tree in all it's cheerful glory. The story of making the best out of what you have and celebrating the joy of the season. Even when you are down, you can bring joy to others and that will bring joy to you. I decided it was a commitment to myself that I needed to keep. It isn't perfect, but that wasn't what was important to me. I hope it brings a smile.
Ornaments - $6.00 from the dollar store
Lint roller to remove glitter from… everything… including hair - $2.00
Self Manicure to fix sap covered nails - $1.00
Embarrassment as neighbors watch the crazy lady in slippers decorate random tree – Unknown
Giggling as I channeled the spirit of my Gramma Boss and my Sister – Priceless
What Finny? We have guests.
I need to see you ::gestures with head down the hall and whispers:: in the litter room.
Coming. ::Following Fin down the hall:: What's going on?
I'm gonna need a lot more sand.
I just changed your box... ::Sees sand all over the floor of the laundry room:: What is going on, this is a mess.
I'm just getting ready for Christmas.
bgggggggggggfddddddddddddddddddgt02+66poooooo (Fin's actual typing on keyboard) What does Christmas have to do with your litter being on the floor?
I'm making a Sandy Claws Lane. I need to make sure I'm back on the Nice List, although my friends assure me Sandy Claws is very understanding and liberal with his list. I wanna be sure though so I'm making things nice and sandy, I think the reindeer use the Sandy Claws Lane to get traction.
Sandy Claws Lane? What are you talking about?
Hello! You know. Come on, that song you sing - "Here comes Sandy Claws, Here Comes Sandy Claws, right down Sandy Claws Lane?" Now if you'll excuse me I need to nap before I hang by the fire and stalk you with great care.
Our heater seems to be a bit broken and Mom is currently the warmest spot in the house. I can't get enough of her. Where she goes, I go. Where she sits, I lounge on top of her.
Mom is known as "The Furnace" here in the house. Her hands always feel like she was drinking cocoa. It makes her extremely popular in the winter. As we request that she puts those "Thermo Paws" to good use. Course in the summer, this same quality makes her lonely as we abandon her.
Dad thinks he has fixed the thermostat in the house thank Cod, but right now I'm sure glad he can't fix her thermostat.
I know I've been an awesome cat all year, so this should be easy for you. I broke my Cat Quest toy, and I really need a replacement. This is, in no way, a sign of my naughtiness. It could, and did, happen by accident.
Did I whap it? Yes, but clearly it was made for whappin, so again no fault of mine. Did I nibble it? Yes. I don't know that it's encouraged, but clearly it's not out of the realm of possibility for a nice cat to nibble her favorite toy. I mean it looks like a bug.
I think it was just the standard wear and tear of aggressive, err, normal ladycat business. I still loved it when it lost half of it's wings, but now that it's lost the other wings and no longer flutters, it's not as much fun.
So to recap - I was an excellent kitty (hardly any naughtiness, err, no naughtiness, err, very normal amount of playful Mom nibbles) all year, and I'm requesting yummy treats, catnip toy(s), and a replacement Cat Quest.
Nosetaps from a polite, and respectful senior kitizen,
Finny Da Floof
P.S. I've enclosed a photo of the toy in question. You can see that I was a perfect lady with it. Do you see the restraint?
P.P.S. I don't know how this other photo made it in here. Clearly this is a look-a-like cat.
I stalk my prey, as I slink along the bathroom counter. It lies dormant and quiet, as it glistens in the bright light. It thinks it can fool me, but I know what it's capable of. Luckily The Great White is nearby and she can always wake it up.
I mew impatiently for her to come and lure my prey from hiding. She tickles it's handle, and like magic it comes to life. A slow steady stream, and it has to be just so - not too strong and certainly not a drip.
I go in for my kill, slowly and stealth-like. Victory is mine as I lick the wet bounty off the porcelain. My prey tries to strike back with it's only defense, I feel it drizzle on the top of my head. I laugh at it's weak attempt and shake it off. Oh was that Mom's toothbrush? Ah well. I go back in for a double dip.
I see my furry prey waiting impatiently on the bathroom counter, a perfect distraction. I turn on the faucet, and like magic I'm rewarded with a perfect view. Yes, it is a knot a the edge of those floofy cataloons I thought I saw earlier. It's the perfect moment to strike - safely away from the skin - one quick nip and it will be mine. If I lose my kill now it will only get bigger and more elusive in the future.
I quietly pull the special dull-edged knotectomy scissors from the drawer as I am showered by droplets from Fin's shake-off. Have I lost my opportunity? No. She heads back into the stream. I try to move quickly and steadily - grabbing the knot in one hand and positioning the shears with the other.
I'm not quick enough. My floofy prey plants herself down. I see angry reproach in her eyes. I have broken the rules of sippy-sink. I offer neck scritches with the empty hand, but she is wary of the hidden hand. She has been fooled before, but not this time.
I move my scritches down the spine, slowly the elevator butt scritch and the steady stream of water running beside her works it's magic. Behold the floofy cataloon. I grab the knot, and with one quick cut, I'm victorious. A successful knotectomy.
A full frontal assault will only get me banished to the other room. I must finesse this situation. I make sweet kitty face at The Great White. She falls for it and begs me to sit on her lap. I act casual-like, as if I am only mildly interested. She pleads - yes, I have her.
I leap onto her lap and allow her to pet me, lulling her into a state of false security. After a few minutes I stretch innocently and slowly make steps toward my prey. Oh no, she sees me, and moves my prey just out of reach. I settle in for more lap time and act as if I didn't notice the movement. A few minutes more of petting and purring, and I move with lightening speed. She didn't see it coming this time. I reach my prey and dive in.
The Dining Table is Off-Limits for reasons I don't understand, but I love it up here for so many reasons. I rarely stay off, if I can help it. One of the many reasons I love it up here is that it's the drop off spot for fresh purchases. Have you ever noticed how often fresh purchases are wrapped in fresh cellophane kill?
As a kitten, I would nibble on regular plastic, but as I've grown into my grannyhood, I've realized it's best to hold out for the good stuff - true Cellophane. The very finest is beef jerky bags (with jerky inside) and the extra crunchy variety.
Sadly, my prey is whisked away quickly. I would be more upset about it, but if swallowed it can cause some gastric distress. For this very reason I suggest two things:
- Don't eat the aluminum foil, it tears easily and isn't very tasty.
- Make sure your human sees you crunching the Phane. They'll sprint to remove it from your jaws and that's half the fun. Cellophane covered in cat spit is a real turn off to the humans. Think of their disgust as a little bonus.
I run from any corner of the house as I join her for the hunt. I can always tell it's her, and not him, by the tentative and joyously slow way she lingers, surveying her possible kill. The cold wind blows through my floof, as I rest my paws on the bottom edge. I catch the smells of all the possibilities.
"You hungry?" She asks.
"Mew! (Yep. How about a snark of ham lunchmeat?)" I reply.
"Nah. Too... meaty. What about cheese?"
"Mew! (Perfect! I prefer the string cheese.)"
She dives down deep into the meat drawer. Her mighty paws thrusting away the rejected options. She holds her prey up to the light. Victory. She places her foot under my belly and unceremoniously drags me gently back from a kill of my own. The door shuts, cutting off my own hunt.
I lament the cruel injustice of it all, as I watch her try to rip into the plastic wrapper like a bear with a picnic basket. Wait, there's still a chance of victory for the small floofy huntress... will she make a drop? Which do you think I want more? The cheese or the wrapper?
The Great White is delightful prey. Sure a tasty bite is always enjoyable, whether it's during a petting session or an occasional nibble on the calf if she takes too long to prepare my meal, but it's the hunt that's the most fun.
I sit poised in the darkened hallway bathroom, waiting to hear the lumbering steps of my prey. I spot my kill as she walk by, tasty white cankles. I run in front of The Great White, startling her and causing her to yelp in surprise. As she continues to walk past me, I throw my front paws around the cankles and hold on tight to try to slow down her progress. A hard bite isn't likely to bring her down, and it's been known to end the game right where it begins, so I resist the urge.
Will she be able to break the hold of my paws of doom? Yes - she breaks free and scurries to the bedroom doorway. The Great White turns to face her furry opponent. I reach up to my full height on my back paws as I hug the doorframe with my front paws. I slide, menacingly, down the doorframe to a pounce position.
"You think you can take me, little cat?" The Great White asks in a mocking tone.
"Mew!" I answer with confidence.
"Let's do this." She says as she darts and weaves toward me her hands waving about.
I make an unexpected break for it, and run through Dad's office. I hear her chuckle as she thinks I've run in defeat, but she has forgotten that the office feeds into the living room and then back to the same hallway which now lays behind her. She is still taunting me, as she waits for a frontal attack, when I leap onto the calf from behind. I flip onto the floor and twist to give some light bunny kicks to the leg.
"You got me!" The Great White squeals in horror. She reaches down and defends herself the only way she can now, a hearty neck scritch. All is forgiven in the happy hunting ground.
If you wanna play just post about hunting anything you like at your place this week. Happy Hunting Friends!
Gratuitous Tummy Shot. Go ahead, you know you wanna.
- There are no rules! Well other than you should post sometime next week and it should be related to Hunting... something.
- If you want to post this little badge at your place in honor of Hunt Week, go ahead. Mom made it herself with clip art so if you don't want to use it, that's fine too.
- If you can avoid closeups of grasshoppers or deaded things because Mom is squeamish that would be good, or she will have to read your posts through her fingers.
First for those of you whose humans wear makeup, you don't need to look any farther on tips on how to line an eye. We invented the cat-eye. I don't recommend taking the lining down your cheek as I have here, you really need fur to rock this look. I also wouldn't go for a smokey-eye. If you're like Mom you'll spend a good portion of the night rubbing your eyes and you'll get smokey enough. No need to start off the evening that way, you don't want to end the evening as a raccoon.
If you think hosiery needs some tabby-like runs, well, you have claws, use your imagination. Note: Take this step before the hosiery is put on the leg.
New shoes? Nothing says holiday like a little hairball remnant. Aim for an edge, you don't want YOUR shoes ruined.
New outfit? You know what we say "No outfit is complete without cat hair." Roll around on all the chairs so they get it on the rump when they sit down. They won't remember to look there.
Just think of all the great icebreakers your humans will have...
"Was that a hairball on your strappy sandals?"
"Is that raccoon hair on your butt, or do you have a tabby?"
"I see you have pets, do you have a lint roller for these tuxie hairs on my leg?"
No need to thank me. It's all in a day's work.
P.S. Don't forget next week is Hunt Week. All you have to do to play is post something Hunt related on your blog next week. Her Cheapness is not putting up a prize so it's just for fun.
Ever since my parents discovered Fin Pockets they've become obsessed with my enjoyment of said treats. You'd think they have stock in the company or something.
Twice a day, all my parents can talk about is my treats and if I have eaten them. Did I already have my treat, did I eat it, and on and on. I can't tell you how worked up Mom gets if I don't feel like eating one!
I wanted to see how far she'd go, and I decided to see what would happen if I refused it. She tried to stick it in my food, and I ate around it. Then she brought it to me where I napped and petted me till I could resist no longer. You would think I typed my own post with how pleased she was. She even called Dad to tell him I finally ate it and not to give me another one till she got home.
Honestly with the way she gets worked up it's like she is with Dad and him taking his pills... Hey wait... you don't think?... Nah!
A few years after I arrived at Casa De Housecat, Mom lost her beloved Grandmother. Her Grandmother was the very spirit of Christmas and always made the most wonderful holiday for her family. Once she passed away Mom lost some of the spirit of decking the halls. She still loves this time of year but getting all caught up in the stress of making the "Perfect Holiday" makes her a bit sad too.
Aunt Jenny seems to feel the same way, and came up with an idea to shake off the holiday hum drums. She is suggesting that you think about the things that make your holiday special to you and then find a way to spread the joy to others in the world. She is calling it Guerrilla Holiday, in the tradition of Guerrilla Artists who anonymously spread art in the world. She is going to spread anonymous holiday joy into the world. Well semi-anonymous, as she will be posting about her joy spreading.
Mom and I loved the idea so much we decided to play and to blog about it. We aren't sure what we will do yet, but I'm sure we'll think of something. So friends anyone else want to spread holiday cheer?
Here are some ideas, post about Guerrilla Holiday, put decorations in a public place, give something to kitties or humans in need, or anything that will bring you holiday joy and bring it to others. Now, go make merry!
Little known fact, I barely shed my first year. My parents thought they'd dodged a bullet in the shedding arena. Shortly after this photo, the floofing and shedding really kicked in. Heh, heh.
So what are you planning for this weekend? It's finally getting a little cool here, so lot's of naps are required. Maybe Mom will go get a nice book and curl up with me. She is like a nice toaster.
I wonder if we will put up a tree? Back when this photo was taken I was a tree destroying machine, ornament whapping with the paw of doom. Would I still? Time will tell, if they dare to try. I hope your weekend is filled with all the best things, whatever you have planned.
I think we are going to have Hunt Week the week after next. Anyone can play, just post about something you like to "hunt" (examples: food, shoes or bargains - if your human, etc), being creative and having fun are the only rules. I think I'll make Mom create a little badge. Yes lady, there's work to be done here too! Now find a cute picture, good job.
- I highly recommend Glycerin Soap as start. It's mild but flavorful. I think of it as a "Gateway Soap." Do make sure the plastic wrapper has been removed, both are slick and it's hard to tell if you're a beginner. Just nibble through the wrapper, it's thin.
- I don't like liquid soap as a rule, but I'm a big fan of Trader Joe's Honey Hand soap (it's imported and not too heavy on the soap). Just lick it off the spout.
- As for the bars, I don't care for any of the "pedestrian" soaps, and neither should you. You're a cat, and you deserve the best.
- I highly recommend the fancy imports (French and English are my favs), or go local with a handcrafted artisan soap. Something with low detergent and high fat.
- I enjoy oatmeal as an exfoliant, as it's a tasty bite when it finally comes loose.