Moth Monday

Thwap thwap thwap

::Whispering:: Did you hear that?

There it is...

It's a big juicy moth!!

I shall kill it! Now lift me up there Mom... Never mind I'll just leap onto the window shade! Oh he's making a break for the kitchen door!

Got em! Grannycat has mad skills. Sorry about the window treatments Mom. Can you clean up the carcass, you know I don't eat moths. They tend to repeat on me.

Saddle Up!

Fin (scared): Mom! Get Dad!

Mom (concerned): What is it Finny? Something in the bathroom got you spooked?

::Looks into the dark bathroom and sees a familiar shape on the floor of the darkened shower::

Mom (chuckling): Oh sweetie, did you drop one of your mice in the shower again? (smugly) I think I can take care of that without your Dad.

::Flips on the light which reveals the largest bug ever seen on the shower floor::

Mom: Mother Fluff!

Fin & Mom (yelling): DAAAADDDDD!

Mom (scooping Fin into her arms for protection): Thank Cod you didn't use the Paw Of Doom on that thing! All it needs is a saddle and you could ride around on it. Oh my Cod, is it moving? DAD!

Dad (worried at all the yelling): What's wrong?!

Mom: Look in the shower! It's the biggest bug ever!!

Dad (horrified): Holy [expletive deleted]! Did Fin kill it?

Mom: No! It's too big for Finny! You need to kill it!

Dad: Sure I'll kill it, but look at her wriggling. I think she wants her turn at it.

Fin: No Dad, I'm good. I wanted to hang out under the bed till you're done here. Hey how do you think it got in here?

Mom (shuddering): I don't know?!!

Paw of Doom III

Sunday I was unceremoniously lifted from my sink bed, mid-nap, in order to be put to work.

"Finny there's a big bug in the kitchen. You need to kill it."

"But I was napping Mommy."

"Just get it!" She said as I was plunked down on the hard tile floor. She squealed as she pointed out the large crawler under the dining table.

Hm, I guess I missed one the other day after all. I sauntered over to have a little look. It seemed hardly sporting, but then he headed towards my bowl, so I gave him a good skittering whack. Sure he headed right for Mommy, but I wasn't aiming or anything.

"Mommy I can't concentrate with all that screaming! I have to focus, and it takes time." I circled my prey, and then whap with a single blow, I killed him with the Paw of Doom. "Happy Mother's Day. Clean that up will you, I'm spent. I'm available for snuggles when you're through here."

Bugs!

Yesterday I mentioned I'm not a killer - well the one exception to that is a big juicy bug. I am the Mighty Bug Huntress! The other day, when Mommy left for work, the garage door must have been open just enough to allow in the bugs. ::Claps Paws::

I was paroling the hallway when I spotted the first one. I was so excited by the site of the large crawler, because I only get the rare opportunity to use my skills. I followed it for a while and then I brought down the hammer and killed him dead. I was preparing for a nap in the bedroom when I saw another one - naturally I hunted and killed it too.

I was just waking up from my nap and there was another one in the hallway. What the fluff? So I whapped it with the Paw of Doom.

I needed a snack by now so I headed out to the kitchen (Oh you didn't think I was gonna eat em did you? Um no - they give me indigestion). Anyway in the kitchen - there was another one! Whap - deaded.

When Mommy came home and saw all my hard work she freaked out, and then she thanked me, as she gathered the carcasses. I assured her I got them all - I think. I'm sure I'll get them all - eventually. Mommy? Stop shuddering. Oh no, don't call the bug guy - I'm pesticide free.

Bug Hunt!

It’s so hard for a housecat to find suitable prey on “The Inside”. I must be ever vigilant for things to stalk. You can’t let your stalking and killing skills grow lax. Movement is a critical element in stalking, and indoors there just isn’t that much that moves. I’m generally forced to stalk Mommy, but she isn’t much of a challenge. She's rather slow moving, so chasing her isn’t real challenging. Let’s face it even a hard bite to the ankle isn’t likely to bring her down (I’ve tried plenty of times and it just gets me in trouble).

Of course when the weather is nice I spend hours on the porch stalking the birds that gather there, but now that the weather is too warm I’m forced into an indoor life. The only good thing about the hot weather is that everyone wants to be inside, including my prey.

I am the Mighty Bug Huntress! My bug hunting prowess is known throughout the land (well, at least I hope it will be now). No bug makes it into my realm without my knowledge (except maybe ants, but who cares about them?). Land rovers are immediately killed with a hard blow by my paws, a one-two punch, after I’ve toyed with them for awhile. Mommy will beg me to finish them off as she screams from a nearby perch (sometimes I let them live just to mess with her).

The flyers require special assistance from Daddy, as he and I hunt together. I will spot the prey high above, and call attention to it’s presence with my constant cries. Finally my parents will realize the potential peril they're in, and thank me for spotting the danger.

Daddy gets a rubber band, or a swatter, and we begin the hunt in earnest. Daddy’s aim is legendary with a rubber band, but occasionally he misses and then we search together for the intruder. When Daddy finally brings it down to the floor I finish it off with my paws of death.

In my younger years I felt I should also dispose of the beast’s carcass, but nowadays I feel my work is done once I’ve landed the death blow. No one likes the taste of moth anyway; they tend to repeat on you.