The Emperor's New Post

For when your Mom is too lazy to find a darling picture of you, and too tired to be funny. 

Please don't laugh, you'll only encourage her naughty behavior.

Sleepy Sunday

Well it's over. Mom's family has left the state. She claims she's wiped out, and frankly I don't mind because the snuggle opportunities are excellent. I was denied a lot of lap time over this week and I'm making up for lost time.

Mom is just lolling about like a human heating pad. If I want pets I just move into her sight-line and pets are given, if I want her warmth only I just move out of arm-length and she's too lazy to move. It's great.

Somehow I've missed getting any leftovers (much less first-overs) from all the feasting, but I know they'll make it up to me somehow. I just hope it involves lots of gravy.

Only Aunt Jenny made it out to Casa De Housecat this week. I decided she was worthy of my presence and allowed her to bask in my glory. She gained brownie points by gushing over how cute I was, but she didn't bring any toys or snacks, so I did not fully roll out the welcome mat. I did manage to sneak onto the table and amused with some of my cutest moves.

I was going to allow some petting, but she made a classic petting blunder of crossing the petting hand across my face and I considered a little nibble, but I resisted, because I am a good hostess. Why do humans not realize that the right hand should pet the right side and the left hand should pet the left. If you must cross over, at least do it behind the head where I can't see it.

Good pets are like sausage, we don't want to see how it happens, we just want to enjoy the end results.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hi everyone! Finny's Back!

Mom is still kicking up her heels with her family and I am anxious for life to get back to normal. Sure I like seeing her happy but I have to tell you that my meals have been off schedule for days. I'm so anxious to get her back to blogging business. I demanded that she write up this little post to tell every one of you how grateful we are that you are right there reading this. 

We love having you here. 

We have so many things we are grateful for and we hope that you have so many things that you're grateful for that you can't even count them in a day. Happy Thanksgiving and we'll see you soon...

Repost - The Balance Beam

Mom is still busy with her family. She is having a great time getting to know everyone again. My house has not been fully invaded yet... I have my hiding spot picked out but haven't needed it yet. 

This post originally appeared as part of a special week we hosted here called Cat-O-Lympics. Jim and Bob were the announcers we created to give the play by play. So much fun! Hope you enjoy it too.

Jim: Well it's the first day of competition here at Fin-Land, and events don't get more exciting than the balance beam Bob.

Bob: That's right Jim. This event is going to take skill and agility. Let's take a look closer look at the course.

Jim: Let me walk our viewer's through the action we've come to expect here at the Balance Beam. The Cathlete is going to jump on the edge of the tub from the far right. It's critical she sticks the landing. She'll need to walk across the narrow ledge to the counter on the left, at that point there will be a quick but difficult jump from the narrow ledge to the counter. The prize will be a cool sip of water right from the tap.

Bob: What's that on the floor Jim? Is that some kind of... water feature?

Jim: Yes Bob, it's a bowl filled with water. It makes this course extremely challenging! Oh look Bob, here comes our competitor...

::a hush falls over the audience as the cathlete surveys the field::

Jim: :Whispering:: Look at that tail switch Bob, she is focused! Looks like she's inspecting the apparatus up close and personal, getting a feel for the conditions. This is a slick course...

 

Bob: She seems very focused on the left side of the course. She.... Oh My COD!

Jim: What an upset Bob!! She caught the Pawparrazzi totally off guard! She completely bypasses the beam and goes straight for the left corner!

Bob: Is it over Jim?! Will this be a disqualification?

Jim: We'll have to wait for the call Bob. It's such a shame, because if you look at the style points, at the dangling paw, she could be in the running for gold! She seems to be awaiting her award on the podium.

 

Bob: I hear from the judges that she has been disqualified for that maneuver! What an upset!

Jim: Looks like our cathlete is drowning her sorrows in a cool drink Bob. Maybe she'll do better in tomorrow's competition.

Rewind - And the Moon

Mom is having tons of fun with her family, so we are re-posting some favorites. As requested for re-post by my great pals Eric & Flynn

Well my master plan worked beautifully, as the changing of the sunrise has thrown me off my efforts to wake Mom. Admittedly, I've been late a few times, and in an effort to over compensate, early a few times too. I've even been caught off guard and been awakened by the hated noisy box.

The other night I was sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting for the sun, when I noticed - the Moon. Sometime in the night, Mom had kicked off her covers, exposing a section of lily white tush that actually glowed in the moonlight.

I was mesmerized.

Of course I've touched the butt before, but perhaps it was the coolness of the tiles, and my desire for a refill of my water, that lead me to my next thought - what if I touched the celestial body with my paw, my cold paw. No, better yet, my cold, damp paw.

I gripped the cool porcelain (I think a paw held in front of the AC vent would work well here too), and waited. When I was adequately chilled, I stuck my paw in the water bowl and headed off for - a Moon landing.

I made a stealthily approach, hoping she wouldn't turn or change the cover arrangement. I sat down, lifted my paw, and suddenly, I felt a bit guilty. I gave a warning meow, to give her an opportunity to awaken at my first request (okay, I whispered it, but I did do it). No response. I laid my cold damp paw upon the Moon.

One small step for Fin, one giant leap for catkind.

Now kitties, here is where the danger comes - you need to leap back, you're going need to be at a safe distance. Prepare your most innocent face, you're going to need to deny any intentional wrong doing. You might want to cover your ears too, with the dry paw of course.

Tomorrow a re-post from Cat-O-Lympics as requested by my great friends at The Katnip Lounge. Let me know if you have a favorite you'd like to see again.

Floofy Friday

Hey Finny, whatcha doin?

Finny?

Fin? Are you playing with the camera cord?

 What? No. I don't know what you're talking about.

Mom is super excited. A whole bunch of her relatives are coming to town for a reunion starting this Saturday till next Saturday. She says her bloggin will be spotty, so I convinced her to repost some of our more favorite entries. Do you have a favorite you'd like to see again?

I will be ready to hide inspect the closet if anyone even looks at me with fur-pulling in their eyes. Aunt Jenny will be staying here at the house with us, and I admit I like her a lot. She makes Mom happy and she sounds just like Mom. She's a quality petter too. I'm looking forward to all the extra lovin... from a safe distance. 

Have a great weekend and we'll see you next week with some of our favorites.

Defense

Hi Y'all! Mittens here.

I'd like to tell y'all that the Little Feline Of The House (LFOTH) is mistaken. Yesterday LFOTH mentioned that durin a pet session a varmit jumped from me and nibbled on the Lady Of The House (LOTH). 

I say no ma'am not on my watch. I kill all comers to my personage, er make that catage, regardless of the size of said varmit. I'd also like to set the record straight on the "Chubby Tabby" I was seen with a few weeks back. I don't make a habit of invitin lady cats over to the yard, and I was actually chasin said Tabby right out... just real slow like. I am a gentleman cat after all. 

LFOTH has been perturbed with me of late and makes quite the ruckus, hissin and growln, at the screen whenever I come by for a spell. Luckily LOTH and MOTH (Man Of The House) don't pay LFOTH much mind and come out for a visit, and a snack or two. 

Do I have an owner you might be wonderin, well a mancat needing a snuggle and a snack on the run never tells his secrets. LOTH says I'm built like a brick with fur, so I'm well cared for somewhere. Bye for now y'all!

Mittens 

Nibbled

Some of you may remember a month or so ago when Mom was caught (by her own Pawparrazzi!) giving Mittens a neck scritch. Here is the photographic evidence of Mom's betrayal...

Well it turns out that during this seemingly innocent scandalous exchange the following was actually taking place... let's go back to the picture and take a closer look shall we?

Whoa! Scary huh?

Right after this exchange Mom developed a red itchy spot which I clearly identified as a "Bite" of some kind, a kootie of unknown origin, well I guess I know the origin. She denied any such thing, but I couldn't help but notice all the scratching of said spot over the next couple of weeks. She defended the Mitten scritches and denied the nibble happened during this exchange, but I think we can all see who is right. She eventually developed a blister/scab, which she continued to pick at.

I held my tongue, for the most part, and only mentioned a few dozens times that it was her own fault for petting a cat other than myself.

Eventually the patch came off and now she has a small scar. Yeah. That should teach her.

WMD

WMD - Weapons of Mat Destruction

These weapons may look familiar to many of my friends, but to those who are "knot" in the know:

• The Dreaded Furminator breeds loathing deep in my grannycat soul. Mom never seems to get the big wads of fur off me that she sees in all the ads. I'm sure it's user error on Mom's part, but it tends to get caught in my fur and pull it.
• The Scissors are actually not bad. Mom and Dad are quiet effective performing a knotectomy with these. I can't say my trim is always even but at least my fur isn't pulled too much.
• The Zoom Groom, or Zoomie as we call it, is very nice - for a fur puller. I have to admit I fussed a lot at first but I've come to enjoy this one. Especially around the neck and down the back, but never on the side or belly.

Thank Cod, my shed season is coming to an end. My winter floof is coming in super thick and extra soft as ordered. My parents can't get enough of my super soft coat. Until I'm fully furred I'm enjoying lots of quality lap time with Mom, cause she's hot... I mean that literally. She's like a furnace.

This was my first glamor shot for the blog and you can see how uneven this trim was. I think I still rocked the punk look though.

Floofy Friday

When you have a staff that's not always up to snuff you have to expect some troubles right? Dad procrastinated till the last moment yesterday to buy the new Internet Security software. Mom went off to bed, and Dad the night owl, decided to upgrade at 2am last night.

I was watching from the guest bed and, let's say it didn't go well. At 3am Dad decided to report the issue to his technical support... Mom. She was a little crabby about the wake-up call. She started to freak that our computers would not be protected and got up to try to install it on her laptop. No luck. She was really tired by 5am and she told Dad to wake her up at 6am.

 I sat on the bed watching her nod off, waiting for sleepy time. Have you ever noticed how cute humans are when they're sleeping? All curled up and innocent, darling. Anyway I waited till I heard Mom's loud snore and I sprung into action. I woke her up as she requested.

She was crabby AT ME! I guess I missed the "at 6am" part, all I heard was the "Wake me up" part. So we have to make this quick cause they have a new disc to try. Wish us all luck. I may have to cover my tender ears if it doesn't work to protect myself from the foul language.


In case there is trouble, I hope you all have a great weekend. Now enjoy some Floofy Glamor Repeats...

Update: Whew! Mom did it! Aside from the standard crabby words she uses when things take more than a millisecond to load it was uneventful. Now I can relax, and Mom can go to sleep... for now... heh, heh.

It's Over

Well friends it seems I've missed Fall altogether this year. I've reported in the past that Fall only lasts for about five hours here in the desert. It's a special day, we wake up in the morning and it's summer, in the afternoon we all gather by our TVs to watch the one tree (held in a secret location) change colors, and by the end of the day it's winter.

Seems that with all the drama here (the big bug Mom saw, Mittens, and the Chubby Tabby) and my curtailed porch time I missed it completely. Winter is here now. Sigh.

Here are a couple of porch pics of my garden, that I didn't get to enjoy...

Goodbye Fall... I'm sorry I missed you.

My Efforts

Finny: Mom! Mom! Wake Up!

Mom: Uh? What? Fin! What time is it?

Finny: You know I don't tell time... but it's like an hour before my breakfast and two hours before you have to get out of bed.

Mom: 3:30! For the love of Cod! What do you want?

Finny: Get the camera! I yakked up a furball as big as a mouse!

Mom: Oh great... why would I take a picture of that?

Finny: For the blog of course! I've been working on this one for days, and I'm sure my friends will be impressed. Come on, it's right in the middle of the hallway, you can't miss it, literally, heh, heh.

Mom: I'm not taking a picture of that. How about a cute picture of you instead?

 

 

Finny: Meh, whatever. You know, I'm not feeling my best, I think I'm gonna just take a long nap.

Mom: Okay sweetie, feel better okay. I'm gonna set you up with some yummy hairball meds.

Finny: That always makes me feel better. Thanks Mom.

Messin with Em Monday

I couldn't help but notice that my parents had recently bought three cases of my favorite food. You know it was on sale and Her Cheapness was beside herself in the store when she noticed it. I'm sure calculations were flying fast and loose between them when they calculated a .30 cent per can savings.

At first I was pretty excited to see them all lined up too. No worries I'd run out of gravy any time soon, that's for sure. That's when I started to realize it also meant there would be no variety coming my way either. Beef and Chicken with gravy is delish, but what about beef or chicken alone, or duck? Day after day without any variety?

I think not. So I refused my regular fare and cried out at the injustice. Mom forced Dad to return and try some new flavors. Victory is mine! I can't help but snicker a little when I look at those forsaken trays of my regular fare. Sure eventually I'll eat them too, but I think my point has been made friends.

Life is unpredictable, and you should be too.

Floofy Friday

Mom was so tired when dragged home the last two nights we missed our Peace Day post and I'm late for Floofy Friday. Honestly there are times when I wish I could replace her, on the secretarial front anyway. Well at least there are fresh Porch Time pics!

Let's stay out here for awhile Mom!

Can you tell my floof is a bit thin right now? I know, I still look pretty floofy, but I'm just starting to grow my winter plumage. Growing floof is hungry work, and I am packing in the treats and gravy to make sure it's thick and extra soft like I like it. Floof Making is also sleepy work, so lots of naps in between the eatin. Porch Time in the cool morning hours also encourages the furs to come on out. My weekend will be busy ensuring my neck frill is full and fluffy.

Mom ::Stiffles yawn:: will be working on... something. She had taken a little writing break from her non-cat book and I think she needs to jump back in! I'd like her to start on my next book already... did I recently mention what a great holiday gift Housecat Confidential (the book-available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle and on their UK site too) would make?

I hope everyone has a great weekend planned. It won't be long before we are all shivering over here, so enjoy it while you can I say.

Bonus Pic: Here I am at about 11 months old. I had outgrown my kitten floof and was just about to grow into my full floofitude. My parents thought they had dodged the long-haired cat bullet. It's funny.

You can really see my tabby stripes and my laser eyes!

My Vote

It's the time of year when my parents spend a lot of time shouting at the TV. The political ads take up most of the time on the TV, and then there are all the phone calls to get their opinions. No one called for my opinion by the way which I find rude and dismissive. 

I generally try to remain neutral but occasionally my parents wonder what party I would be a part of if cats could vote. Would I be a Democat or a Republicat, a Liberal or a Conservative. 

After much consideration I realized I'm both a Liberal and a Conservative. I'm quite liberal when it comes to my parents distributing my treats and food, but I would be very conservative about sharing my food with others.

I hate faxes (I shred anything that comes from the fax machine's evil mouth), so I guess I'm for whoever will fax us less. Less Faxes I say. 

I firmly believe in a feline’s right to choose between kibble or gravy-laden wet food. I think the choice is clear, I mean it's GRAVY, but each their own.

Wait, what am I thinking? I am a Cat! Of course I'm an Independent.

Sweet!

Fin: Guess what friends? I was so put out on Halloween night, that I've been rewarded handsomely for my trauma. I was so parched, locked away in my bedroom prison, that I decided to look in my sink to see if a little water had ponded there, and that's when I noticed a gift from The Cods.

A perfect cat-head shaped glass filled with water! And no Mom around to foil my enjoyment! Yum!

Mom Interrupts (Rudely): It's always there Fin. Always. Everyday. You just breeze past it in your mad dash to the faucet. Always there, and refreshed daily.

Fin: Really? I never noticed. Huh. Anywho friends I was super starving and decided to scoot out the the kitchen to verify the candy grubbers were indeed gone. I was on my stealth reconnaissance when I noticed I had a whole bowl full of kibble, right beside my dish! It was delicious! 

Mom (Again Rudely): Yep. That's always there too. All Day. Every Day. See, no need to wake me up at various hours of the night. In fact, it's been there since the day you arrived. Remember, you used to only eat kibble, anytime day or night with no need for me to get up. I call them the "Easy Days."

Fin: I call them the "Dark Days", or "BG" (Before Gravy). Besides if I didn't wake you, you might sleep the whole night through!

Mom: Exactly!!

Fin: I don't see your point...