Best of Blog - Lap Rules

These rules are all still very much in effect. 

I thought this might be a good time to lay down some rules on lap etiquette that I'd like obeyed.
  1. When I mewl at your feet, there's no need for you to ask "What do you want?" I want your lap of course. No I'm not going to jump right up there, I have things to take into consideration first. I only want to be scooped and placed on the lap if it's Dad.
  2. Entering the lap is not as easy as you seem to think Mom, there are shifty parts and lumpy parts and I often have to negotiate space with your laptop. If I claw some tender parts in the process, well I'm sorry, no need to scream about it, you big drama queen.
  3. When something startles me I will leap off, possibly taking small bits of your flesh with me, again I'm sorry.
  4. Don't squeeze the kitty, even though you enjoy the small noises I make when you do.
  5. I have to be in the mood for you to hold my front paws (never the back paws), don't assume I'm in that mood when you are.
  6. The scratches and pets are great, but once I decide those are over, and I'm moving on to the business portion, I no longer want the distraction. If you persist I'll have to nibble you.
  7. The business portion can include napping or bathing, and yes you do make a nice bath tub (all those soft angles that I can use to prop myself up on make bathing quite enjoyable).
  8. When you're "In the mood for a cat" don't assume I'm "In the mood" to be said cat. All your pleading will not make your lap more appealing. In fact I'm a cat - if I came when I was called - I'd be a dog. So if I was on the fence about the snuggle, your begging has ruined it.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Finny De Floof


  1. I am surprised these rules are even needed. I think it ALL goes without saying.

  2. Very reasonable rules!

    The Florida Furkids

  3. It couldn't haf been stated any simpler. Purrfect. Kisses to you sweet Finny.

  4. Fin darl,
    May I have your permission to email this to my pawrents. Even after seven cats, there are still unclear of the rules. purrr....meow!

  5. We know she's your Mum Fin but we must ask is she a bit forgetful? You seem to need to keep telling her the rules over and over again -we know our mum is forgetful but she's old so we make allowances for her!
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

  6. Goes without sayin'! Is always good to post 'da rules, though!

  7. Sounds straight forward to me - LOL!!


    So do the rules work? We dole out the bitey when our mom goes overboard with the pets. Jeeze she loves our furrs.

    Happy 2012!

  9. W're going to have to print this out and highlight point number 4 to Mommy.

    Love, Cosmo and Ling

  10. Hi there Finny. Those are some mighty good rules. We have written them down to remind our Mom. She does have a lot of us demanding her lap but we all take turns. So Fin, there is no reason why you shouldn't have lap time whenever you want it to be. Hope you are feeling all right. Take care. Hugs to Mom

  11. "if you came when called you would be a dog".....classic!!! Begging makes you change your mind (or something to that effect)..."lumpy parts", "drama queen".......PLEASE, PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER BOOK! xoxoxoxoxo

  12. I think those are wonderful rules, but they would be coming from the best!

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  14. Perfect, Fin! Your rules make PURRfect sense to us! :)

  15. Thanking for spelling that out clearly, Fin. I have passed this post along to my mom.

  16. Dear Meg and Fin,
    Thank you for your kind words about our sweet Alice. It has been a terrible blow to our family and we are very grieved by our loss. We miss her so, but are comforted by thoughtful comments from friends like you.

  17. I love this...
    Now if only I could just figure out how to make Katie be that 'said cat.' Oh she torments me so...coming so close to my lap, yet being so very far away. ; )